My heart is heavy and yet so very full as I reflect on the changing of the Wheel.
I love to celebrate the Wheel of the Year because it helps me stay connected to the Earth and her cycles and in doing so illuminates my own growth and cycles.
The Wheel of the Year has always been on my radar for things like Equinoxes and Solstices but it has really taken on a new depth for me in the last 5 years as I have embraced all of the 8 celebrations marking the changes in seasons. The word wheel is so appealing to me because it reminds me of the circles of life. A wheel keeps spinning and turning and with its turns, it experiences changes in direction, much like my life. As the wind begins to blow colder and the leaves start to show signs of colour I am reminded the time has come for another turn.
I have been working furiously with an early frost to harvest the last of summer. I have brought beets and squashes in early and cried at the loss of tomatoes and peppers that just didn’t make the grade this year. Gardening was a wild ride this summer as I experienced an early hot summer, little to no rain, and immersed myself in a large permaculture install reclaiming lawn for food and wildflowers.
As I look out my window and see the last of the sunflowers, the goldenrod, and asters, I feel myself already mourning the loss of the sights of such beauty, the feel of my hands in soft dirt and the warm sun upon my skin.
As I lean into the feelings I notice my heart is aching and my chest feels heavy. I pause.
I lean into what I am feeling and recognize it as the mourning of summer rising up. These feelings act as my compass. They tune me into my own body’s needs and speak of the self-care I need. It is time again to eat roots and bitters and love up on my liver. It is time to eat hearty soups and lots of garlic and onions to clean my blood and boost my immune system. It is time to slow down and drink warm teas and to carve out more time for rest as the daylight begins to disappear.
Although I have electricity and indoor lighting it is important to me to honour the rhythms of nature.
This is not a time of new goals, of major time commitments, or pushing my body to get strong. For me it is a slow down into stillness, a gratitude to my body for the energy it exerted in the spring and summer, and a time for learning and deep reflection.
This process does not happen overnight, much like the turning of the wheel, it happens slowly and mindfully as I give it awareness. It starts right now as I honour my heavy chest and heart and give thanks for the feelings that let me know change is inevitable and ask of me how I will care for myself through its processes.
I know I must celebrate.
I must celebrate the impending loss and also all that has been gained. I give thanks for the land, for the Earth, and for the Mabon (Fall Equinox) energy. I carve out time for sisterhood, for ceremony, for yoga.
I hit my mat with less push and more softness. This is fall for me, and it is so incredibly beautiful in all that it brings me as always I am humbled into awe and gratitude for this Earthly life.