There was a time I paid money to get on rides and feel the sensations of speed, wind, and drops, of darkness, and light and unexpected twists at theme parks. I remember the urge to put my hands up and scream knowing it would soon be over and to enjoy the thrill for as long as I could. Those line-ups seemed an eternity. I marvel at this memory as I write tonight because there is no line up for the roller coaster of my life.
With each passing day, I realize how many steps I take uncertain if the Earth will be beneath me and yet trusting She is there.
I try to analyze what to do, to think about what is next and sort out all of the scenarios and I quickly feel overwhelmed and anxiety creeps in. I can feel the tightness around my chest and my shoulders and my low back begin to ache;it’s where fear sets in in my body. I am grateful for these sensations, they guide me into knowing it’s time to shift my energy. I listen to me now, I feel the sensations and I find my yoga mat and my mala.
A few days this week I even stayed in pajamas to simply honour my need for cozy.
As I listened and slowed down, I cozied up to myself and I began to tune into the New Moon pull. I unloaded all of my burdens into my journal and got clear on my feelings. I looked at words on the page and traced out the roller coaster track. I remembered I couldn’t control the ride but I humbly asked for guidance. I asked for a deeper connection and for strength to stay in alignment with my soul purpose.
After spending much of my week teaching, I chose to spend time with two other women for their new moon group, led by someone else guiding me. When the opportunity presents for me to drop deeper into meditation under the guidance of someone I trust, I always take it because the illumination with co-creative energies is often so heightened and the messages are profound. As I snuggled in to listen and was making my tea, I started to wobble. The wobble turned to a swagger, then into a crawl and then I was bound to the Earth. At approximately 7:40pm a frequency shifted and I was crippled with vertigo. All day I had been feeling immense pressure in my ears, as if diving in a pool, but the pain was bearable and I could hear. The pressure eased up and shifted into vertigo. Unable to do much, I listened for a time to hear the dear ones speak, and then I crawled to bed where my son came to tuck me in. Together we talked about the moon and our ears, and the “sickness” feeling. A gloworm soothed him and I turned up some 417hz healing binaural beats for us to sleep to. I sprayed us both in sage and called in my guides as I held us in circle in our bed. While in circle, I was reminded that the physical body as well as my fifth chakra is going through much needed, immense shifts to recode for the new world. This eased my fear and I surrendered to my guides and to sleep. I awoke with continued vertigo and I sighed, trusting it would go away when it could. I reminded myself I have a mission and to stay focused on co-creating and the fifth chakra would align.
As my vertigo passed and my chakra aligned, I found myself needing to listen with compassion and speak my truth in some very difficult conversations (all fifth chakra). I am certain that before the vertigo I would not have been able to hear, or speak and this upgrade helped me in holding healthy boundaries. As I reflect tonight I am deciding to view ascension to a new world and its symptoms much like that roller coaster, I am putting my hands up and I am using my voice; plug your ears, this could get loud!
Are you interested in learning more about the chakras and how they can affect your daily life?
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