Diary – 4th Week of February

Dear Diary,

I am so thankful for this new moon.

The full moon took me on a journey of deep release. With mercury retrograde I saw my past patterns, my upbringing, my trauma projected back at me through my son and it terrified me. The past few weeks have asked of me in ways I could never have imagined but I have risen to meet them. There has been a toll on my body and I am recovering, but the spiritual and personal growth has been magmentous.

I have known for sometime that the ascension from the age of Pisces to Aquarius was going to be challenging. I have felt in my dreams the impending changes and been psychically aware of the collective and the calling of my soul. Much of this began for me in January of 2018 and I am humbled by the journey. I have felt transformed in so many ways since then. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and every time I think I can’t stretch or grow any more, I am wrong, I do.

Growth is uncomfortable. It just is.

For me it’s uncomfortable because it takes me into surrender, into letting go of control, into places I do NOT know how to be good or perfect at. It forces me to transform, to get it wrong, to trust, and to have faith. I have never really understood all the stepping stones of my life in a way that made me fully understand how they were connected. With the new moon I had a vision, and I now understand how blessed I am for how winding my path was because the tools in my tool kit are unconventional, diverse, and exactly what I have needed in the past stage of transformation.

new moonAs a dominant second chakra, and someone who identifies with the archetype Mystic, my life path has always felt connected to spirit. A born dream walker, bio-locator, and astral traveller I have had many experiences that have left me bewildered and inspired. My given name and my spirit name both have the same meaning, a follower of the light, an ability to see in the dark, a leader of making something out of nothing. This moon cycle I felt myself rising to my names. In a reiki session with Brenda Thorne a vision came to be as if it was real. Jesus arrived and stood next to my sick body. We spoke to each other candidly. Jesus reminded me of my mission here, to see the return of Christ Consciousness into the age of Aquarius. To empower those meant to carry and spread this consciousness. Jesus and I talked about my role in learning healthy boundaries, in taking a stand to abuse and violence against women, children, and the earth. We shook hands and I reminded him that I need this body to do his work. With that he held his hands over me alongside Brenda and assured me if I stick to my calling I will heal and guide others to healing too. Later when I came to, I told Brenda I had seen Jesus, she looked at me and said she saw him too. I seldom doubt myself anymore but man it feels good when someone else shares your experience in a way of sheer validation, I am still human after all!

So this week I am healing, I am mending, and I am regrouping.

I am in liminal space preparing for the resurrection. I will rise, and I will rise stronger, brighter, and full of more ways to illuminate the dark, hold space for the divine feminine, connect spiritually with purpose, and bring prosperity and harmony back to my family. Thank you divine spirit and grandmother moon, you have graced me with so much this week, my heart is swollen with humility and gratitude.

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