hand reaching up to new moon

Diary – 4th Week of April

Dear Diary,

A New Moon is upon me.

I feel a huge shift in the energy like a cord finally snapped! Everything changed frequency and I feel different. Things are coming in waves, highs and lows and they all seem to carry a different frequency and a real set of emotions and feelings unique to each wave. As I lean into the waves, I find myself sinking deeper into my soul knowing. I rise and fall, I get knocked around and then I surface.

As I found the surface again, I reflected down deep into where I had been. I needed that darkness. I needed that mess. I needed to be undone and fall apart. I needed too many glasses of wine, eating poorly, and binge social media time. I needed to just be imperfect and to just cope. Then and only then could I feel what I needed to feel and explore what I was seeing. In this murky mess of “too much ness”, and “not enough ness”, I hovered and I saw my life where it was, where I had come from. I also saw all that I had endured and I was able to associate feelings to each moment. It was like being suspended in the storm, being held in the water in the dark and it opened up a movie of my life.

I saw me, the real me, the me I never look at.

I saw the me that has endured drugs, alcohol, abuse, and rape. I looked at her, not because I wanted to but because I had to. Someone asked me to tell her story and that forced me to look at the old footage. It was gruesome. It was also undeniably magnificent. Every event that broke me made me into something new. Every death, every loss, every heart break, every broken bone, every disease diagnosis forced me into a rebirth.

As I held myself in the dark, I began to choose to stay there.

I welcomed in Raven (a bird I am sometimes blessed to journey with) and I devoured my darkness. I shape shifted from Raven into Heron and as two birds masculine and feminine, in union, I rose back to the surface. I didn’t let go of the darkness, not yet, I viewed it through the water from a top down view. With the patience of the Heron looking for the moment to catch its prey, I watched myself. I loved myself. In that love I began the dance, the wings flapping heron style of dance and I transformed again into the Mystic that is me. I landed back in my inner knowing, my wisdom. The darkness, the top down view of the life I have lived, reminded me who I am and why I am here.

Rising up and acknowledging the messages from my dear animal guides, I emerged. In this new light I listened for a couple of days to the energies in the ethers and I knew the meaning of the message “the time is now” on an even deeper level. This clarity began to build up in my body illuminating my second chakra. I am a second, I am born to lead, and born to teach. I have the vision to do this because of my gifts in this chakra. The orange begins to ignite as I acknowledge it deeper and the messages stream in about the new moon. I feel the new moon early, I am meant to, the fifth chakra is taking a hit, all seekers must know. I feel the fifth chakra in my body, I tune into the messages of my soul and I know the week must be filled with second and fifth chakra work for me, for my practice, and for all who follow.

This energy is leading us to the power of manifestation.

A wild celestial event is set to unfurl and as we lean more into our energetic selves, we are becoming more interconnected. I don’t want to brace myself, I want to feel it.

I want to feel it, but I also want to choose how to respond to it. I will do this with my second and my fifth chakra, choosing love over fear and courageously listening with compassion while speaking my own truth. I will not change my truth to meet the needs of others, I will not alter my heart’s calling for the realities I do not believe in. I will be mindful of my words, inner and outer, I will be mindful of my feelings and explore them and I will lean into my co-creative power centre creating content and welcoming others to join me into manifesting a new world. So mote it be.

Are you interested in learning more about the chakras and how they can affect your daily life?

Join me in an upcoming FREE LIVE Chakra 4-7 Webinar on May 4th
Listen in to a replay of a Chakra 1,2,3 Webinar HERE

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