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opportunity for change

Diary – 3rd Week of August … an Opportunity for Change

Dr. Seuss has been on my mind A LOT.

So has Dr. Shefali Tsabarry, Kim John Wayne, Rudolph Steiner, and Jane Worroll. These are all philosophers with a key focus on raising empowered children. I have been spending a lot of time with my eyes open since COVID-19 made its grand debut and it has broken me in so many beautiful ways.

In these moments I realize how right Dr. Seuss was when he said “you’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut”. It would have been easier to keep my eyes closed, to find someone else’s views that made it easy for me to tag on to without sifting my way through my own needs, wants, and beliefs, but it would not have been as beautiful.

Although many moments over the past few months have been filled with pain and heartbreak, there have also been many moments of beauty.

I have found myself flushing out friendships with other moms and for the first time built more closely on values than ever before.

I have watched my son grow and interact with nature with such wonder that I too have fallen back in love with witnessing my surroundings. I have lost a career, a business, and a studio but I have rediscovered who I am and my soulful gifts of service to the world in this lifetime. Keeping my eyes open has been difficult and even painful, but it has also been breathtakingly beautiful.

To go through these big shifts I have had to find my center.

Time and time again I have lost my footing and returned to the tools of breath, yoga, and grounding in nature.

I have had spiritual breakthroughs pushing beyond Ego and returning back to the truth of our true essence and interconnectedness. The intensity of change has moments where I just want to close my eyes and then and I take a deep breath and open them right back up.

Change is never easy.

Heading towards September reminds me that this is another season. Some seasons bring more change than others and this will be one that impacts me and my son for the rest of our lives. As we navigate what “back to school” will mean for us, I take a deep breath, find my footing, and choose to keep my eyes open.

I see something happening within this decision, something bigger than a viewpoint on masks, social distancing or classroom size, I see another personal transformation unfolding.

This process illuminates for me another area to crack wide open. Within this major decision I see an opportunity to heal myself in the reflections from my son, a chance to allow him to teach me and lose my hierarchical approach to both education and parenting. This is a chance to change from branching to a net, from surviving to regenerative.

This is big.

It is unclear at this moment how society will receive me, or even how I will continue to receive society, I am not focused on the how.

As I let go of the HOW, I hone in on one more Dr. Suess piece of wisdom “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

I CARE. I care an awful lot.

I care about my son, about me, about humanity and about the Earth. I care about Regeneration and I know that caring isn’t enough, action must follow. I don’t believe the education system was in soulful alignment for me before COVID-19. The more I read about residential schools and how much has been lost of ancient traditions, the more I CARE about things getting better.

It feels as if COVID-19 created the opportunity for change, what I do with it, is up to me.


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