love needs no container

Diary – 2nd Week of May

Dear Diary,

This was a week of revelation. The full moon in Scorpio took me deep into emotions I don’t like. I drowned myself in feelings of betrayal, anger, deception, and hurt over and over again. I let them pummel me like a stormy ocean. Scorpio is the King of transformation and is governed by water as the tides are also moved and affected. I let the waters within me boil. I came up for air, often, and then I went down deep because I needed to know the root causes. As I went down I looked up at the light streaming in just at the surface, this gave me faith I could return when I was ready, and so I stayed.

In the dark, murky turbulent waters, I saw myself. A version of myself. I saw a girl who felt like a burden. I saw a woman child who felt too much and had no idea what to do with those feelings conditioned by a society NOT to feel. I saw a woman who didn’t feel loved. In her aspects I saw the relationships she formed that fed that story. I saw the lack of worth in many of the business events and agreements made, I saw the friendships that ended in jealousy and power struggles, I saw the relationships that fuelled the unlovable beliefs. I stared hard at all of these reflections, and I made a choice: I choose to learn from them and release them.

Those stories were limiting, they stopped me from connecting with the one true alchemical force, love of self.

The more revelation poured in, the less angry, hurt, betrayed I felt and the more acceptance and compassion seeped in. With each breath of compassion, I rose. I began building a new container for myself, one with walls of love. In each revelation, I determined new boundaries, new parameters to honour the sacred vessel that is me. I rose some more. The more depth I put into loving myself and defining what it meant in context of internal and external containers, the more I rose.

Finally my largest revelation: Love needs NO container.

Love can spill out freely, however honouring the love within needs a container to flow freely within. Co-creation is NOT over giving and expending one’s self to extinction, its an ebb and flow of love always rejuvenating.

This week, I will focus on what these containers look like so that come the New Moon I can set about manifesting this new reality. I will reflect deeply on my revelations so that I can question what new ways of interacting will I have, how will I expend or focus my energy to honour the outer and inner needs of co-creation. What practices of alchemy will I endeavour to master to create heaven and earth within me, to stay remembering my eternal connection to the Divine, and to discover what practices deepen these feelings for me. I will reflect on them while I allow myself time to grieve, for I have shed many layers and although I am excited for what will take their place, I will honour the arduous journey, blood, sweat, and tears that got me to this very revelation.

If you too find yourself in a place reflecting on who you are, who you want and know you can become, I invite you to consider joining me in a Pathway to Courage.
This is a course that gives you the opportunity to take a deep dive within yourself, to learn more about who you are and how you want to show up in the world.

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