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Diary – 2nd Week of April

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I think I am going nuts! I have these thoughts that just get planted in my mind, and they are far too grand or out of the blue to be mine and yet I can’t let them go. They start and then bubble and bubble until I sift through them and discern where to take them. As the government just launched and released the CERB benefit, when I SHOULD be taking this opportunity to apply and hunker down with everyone, spirit lands in my head with a resounding THUMP…NO.

NO “they” say, no you will not take the benefit, no you MUST not stop working, and then they shout THE TIME IS NOW. This message, “the time is now” has been on repeat for awhile now but I never really understood the context, until now. As I began to listen to the messages I got out pen and paper and I processed what they were asking. I looked at what I had written and I shouted out, “SHOW ME HOW”.

This time, I need a how: I CAN NOT do this alone.

Ask and she shall receive, they always say this, and they delivered. One phone call and three zoom calls and one by one the Earth Angels crossing my path stopped and provided guidance. It’s blatant now I can NOT ignore spirit and so with my heart in my throat, I knuckled down deep into the midnight hours working until dawn several nights in a row and I listened.

I designed and reformatted my entire business.

I am no longer “just” a studio, or focused on one-on-one work, the call to build an army of light has been amplified and I must rise to meet the call. To reach more people, I must use a broader platform and as such a monthly membership and an online group with precise intention has been born. To try and rise right now while the world is in fear and staying down is going upstream, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s challenging….but I know all of those feelings and have made some pretty damn good lemonade in the past, so why not now?

I am clumsy, ugly, awkward, in my new videos. I am tripping over my words and movements because I am finding my comfort again. I am pushing myself into new realms of spiritual connection because I channel in the moment and usually for one person, not an entire membership. I will rise because I am not doing it alone, the same SPIRIT who dropped the message will guide me, IF I am willing to listen. I promise to practice listening and above all turn up.

I feel vulnerable right now, messy, and uncertain. I hear my inner critic judging my gifts of service trying to say I am not good enough at what I do to change formats or offer such a membership. I can feel my body recoil and long for a glass of wine or shot of tequila to numb the pain of being scared of failure. I notice these feelings and I give them space, I validate them as real and then I make a choice, I choose to move through them and past them because the time is now. I don’t have it all figured out, but I am here and I continue to choose Love over fear and remain curious because that I have control of and no one can take that away from me.

Nurturing Curiosity,

Tawny

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Tawny is a born adventurer who has a childlike curiosity about everything, and brings that into all she does. An empath, medical intuitive, yoga teacher, reiki master, massage practitioner , dabbling herbalist and life coach brings a variety of flavour to all she does. After more than 10 years of international work, Tawny has gained a deep passion for leading people into the physical and spiritual realms of human experience.​

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