Diary – 1st Week of March

Dear Diary,

I took a break. A real break, a total break. I unplugged. I turned my phone off for 7 straight days and allowed myself to be fully present. There were a couple of moments where I doubted myself, I wrestled with the idea that I should be showing off where I am, that people want to see a life coach living their dream life, that my yoga poses in a foreign destination are critical to my success….and then I found the mute button. I silenced every one of those thoughts with one what trumped it: INTEGRITY. I promised myself and my son that I would be present. I promised to never delude my clients or my following with fake news, with a reel that was unattainable, and my integrity, my promise is the one thing no one can take from me in this life and it trumps EVERYTHING. So I kept my phone off.

In order to be present as a parent, I needed to focus on my busy son.

There was so much to see, so much to feel, so much to taste and I didn’t want to miss a second of it! We laughed, we swam, we ate, we explored, we cried, and we hugged a lot. Every one of those moments helped me gain clarity again on what I truly love in life, on who I am as a person and as a mother. I used this time of space to read a book, to ponder life and to just sit in nature. It felt so damn good to be a human being.

Coming home to a full moon in virgo, a feeling of spring in the air and the sweet release of mercury retrograde created even more opportunity for spaciousness in my mind. As mercury began to let up its grip I found it easier to delve into reflection on all I had learned in going inward. Some retrogrades hit me harder than others, which makes sense because they land in different aspects of the astrological chart every time they arrive, and we are always evolving in our learning. This one took me inward to explore who I really want to be, what is it that I want to do in this world, where can I shift to be better of service in this lifetime, and how can I embody my core desired feelings. These are big questions and they take more than one retrograde turn inward to fully uncover, and that was a huge lesson for me on this trip.

It’s ok to not have it all figured out and it’s ok to constantly reevaluate, adapt, and grow. This is life.

As the full moon fully hits, I find myself clearing out my house. Every drawer and closet has gotten a makeover, the clutter, the weight of the past, the parts of me that have been stifled have all been exposed and are now flowing their way into new light. I will sort through them one at a time until the new moon arrives and I can fully rebirth with the power of Spring Equinox, Ostara. Just like a retrograde, the seasons hit me different every year too and this spring I am truly ready to grow, to stretch, to rise from the dark where I have been planting so many seeds the past two years and to blossom into the luminous being living my spiritual experience here on earth with purposeful action to embody prosperity. I have faith in change, faith in the stars, faith in the seasons, and above all faith in me.

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