Deep Transformation

Diary – 1st Week of August … Deep Transformation

I am in a METAPHORICAL pause.

I have been in deep transformation.

It feels as if the world I am in is standing still and yet I can see the external world spinning around me. I feel suspended in time and motion. This feels exactly in alignment. It feels like I am meant to be here, to pause.

From here I can truly see, who I am, who I want to be, where I want to head, and in a few glimpses even how to go about the practice of getting there. Hawk is with me, we hover, we examine, we acknowledge, we know. With Hawk’s eyes I am gifted the top down view. With Hawk, I witness the world moving around me and the tiny spec of me suspended.

I ask myself, why am I here, what has Hawk come to show me and when I give the question space, the answers unravel.

I have been breaking, and I have broken in places I didn’t know were possible. As each piece of me broke, more light got in. With each crack, a fire burned in and through it and then the ashes fell.

Now I rise.

I rise from the ashes reborn into another layer of whom I am meant to be.

I don’t have it all figured out, when I do, I am certain I am done on the Earthly plane. I still struggle, I am unclear of the how and yet I feel direction and faith and the two give my wings new flight and I find myself soaring, suspended on air currents with Hawk.

Hawk shows me I need help. I have furniture to move, shelves to be built, weeding to be done, medicine to be made. I struggle with this, asking for help, or knowing how to let people help, Hawk shows me this.

This is my learning, how to ask for help, how to teach others through empowering them to help me and all the while learning better leadership within myself. As Hawk takes me over my family life I see where I have needs, challenges and opportunities.

As I soar with Hawk, I am noticing I am softer. I am softer with myself when I see where I am slipping. I am softer when I try to re-adjust, and I am softening to the blows of life.

I WILL NOT let them harden me.

Instead I am letting them shape me, letting them teach my wings how to expand and soar. My wisdom comes from the faltering: the slips, the breaks and the detours, I see this from here, up high.

I am witnessing my life drastically course-correct. I soften into the acceptance I have done my best and have landed exactly where I am meant to be. I am trusting the processes. I don’t love every aspect of them, some of the dark feels downright awful, but I have faith it is where light lives, and so with Hawk I trust, I soften into the darkness trusting that I can fly.

As I allow Hawk to guide me in a top down view of my life, I am grateful.

I am grateful for this view, for this experience, for this ability to be held up high and see. From here my faith in the light allows me to soften. My tools in spirituality allow me to grow, and my need to feel luminous and hold light for others inspires me to share my journey.

In sharing my growth, I am creating with purpose and this aligned action will help me with prosperity. I trust this. I trust the power of words; curiosity and courage took me to incredible places, that is how I found Hawk in the first place. As I ride with Hawk now, I know anything is possible and these words allow my wings to take flight and my vision from above continues to give me the strength I need to soar.



Healing from Within is pleased to support RAVEN (Respecting Aboriginal Values and Environmental Needs).
RAVEN is the only non-profit charitable organization in Canada that uses the power of the crowd to fund access to justice for Indigenous Peoples.

When successful, the legal actions of RAVEN’s Indigenous partners set precedents for future cases and advance legal rights and title.
They also create significant environmental benefits.

Supporting Indigenous-led initiatives is an effective way to curtail unsustainable industrial development and drive systemic change.

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