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Diaries – 4th Week Of September

Dear Diary,

A slamming door hurts. It is hard to listen and uncomfortable to wait as the echoes settle and the magnitude of what has occurred is processed. This week, I realized that often the closing of a door is necessary to open up a new one. I worked hard this week to surrender, I admitted my pain, my dislike of relinquishing control, and I begged for help with acceptance. I spent a great deal of time praying/meditating in the shower, in bed, and outside all week. I was clear on my intentions in my prayer, help me to surrender to this, it feels bigger than me. Help me to accept things as they are and help me to forgive. As I worked with these feelings and fought my way into humility, the miracle occurred. The door that has been lingering, caused me pain, been consuming me, had slammed. As I asked for help my request was met as a dream of mine came to fruition with a new door (two to be exact) to my new studio!

Embracing Thoughts & Feelings

This week I found myself on my knees but in that space of humility, I found immense illumination. Throughout the process, my body lit up and talked to me sharing sensations of pain where I was holding thoughts or feelings that needed to be moved through.  As I listened to each nudge from my body I began to hear and see my soul with more clarity. I find each day I know with more certainty why I am here and what it is I am destined to be. 

This week to combat the energies I drank a lot of tea. I turned to Calendula, hibiscus, and peppermint in teas and motherwort in a tincture. I embraced citrine, blue apatite, and amazonite crystals to help me ground and connect to my higher self. When I felt like i was too far gone, I bathed in cedar, and I used a sweetgrass mist all week to remind me of the sweetness of life. Gentle was the word of the week for me, be gentle with myself, gentle with my son, and gentle with all I encounter, transformation is grueling for us all and I was reminded we must feel it, to heal it.

Solidifying Intentions

As the new moon arrives I have solidified my intention, a process I do every moon phase, and I have committed to the universe to take courageous action in building foundations that support an abundance of connection and nourishment in both professional and personal aspects of my life. Despite how challenging last week was, I am open to love and that means giving and receiving. I feel myself shifting and transforming and I am ready to ensure this intention is manifested before the next new moon. I am ready to close doors that no longer serve. I am excited for the new ones that are opening up to see my intentions come to reality.

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