Diaries – 3rd Week of December

Dear Diary,

Life is precious. For some reason, it takes death, the end of the year, and my birthday to really hammer this home for me. This year has been full of enormous growth and learning. When the leaves begin to turn I begin to go inward but until then I seem to get caught up in the pace of living. Now that the leaves have fallen, and the veil has thinned, and the darkest day of the year dawns I am very deeply humbled.

Growth & Learning

As my birthday came and went I didn’t feel a year older but I felt clarity in my wishes and desires. I felt gratitude for the little things and I truly found appreciation for who I am and where I have come from. This year my birthday landed on a very powerful full moon, and this moon has hit me all in the third eye and crown chakras. For days I have been having heightened dreams and felt as if I have been gifted a looking glass deep into my own soul. 

In the past, I was afraid of mirrors. I hated walking past them, looking in them, and any reflection that may show me who I was looking at. Now there is peace, as I saw the indigo mirror approach I looked in, lovingly. I accept who I am and I forgive myself. I forgive the way I have lived and trust the learning has led me to where I am now. I could have made different choices, I have always had free will, but the choices I made have created the space to serve me now as I choose to step into service. 

This moon is illuminated;  a pool of iridescent indigo, purple, and magenta and in its glorious splendor I see myself floating. I am not alone. I see myself reaching out, holding hands, and building an army of light. I feel us as one, some living and some gone connected and anchoring in light for all who seek it. This vision that has come to me feels like the most daring of missions I have ever been offered, and I accept. I wholeheartedly lean in with courage and trust, that I have what I need, that I do not need all the answers, that whole healing is available to us all, that time is what we choose to see, that ascension happens within, and that chaos is simply another word for re-organized. I love the way the cosmos conspire to help us see and I feel blessed that this was the gift bestowed on the very day of my birth.  I know it wasn’t just for me, and I am glad of this as birthdays are no fun alone. Knowing this cosmic gift was available to us all made my birthday feel like one huge cosmic gathering. 

Achieving Universal Love

As the energy subsides I am grieving the life I am once again choosing to leave behind. My nose and ears are full and my sinuses are on fire. I trust this clearing and I honor my body with tea and rest. I’m diffusing Myrrh, bergamot, juniper and chamomile to soothe my soul and offer cleansing as it clears. I am saying prayers, I am repeating mantras of affirming trust, and I am embracing a deep universal love.