Diaries – 2nd Week Of October

Dear Diary,

Well, this has been an immense week of blessings and healthy choices. As I work day in and day out to get the new space ready, something happens daily! Sometimes multiple times a day, it stops me in my tracks. As I continue to step up into this studio and step through fear and past beliefs, people are stepping up to meet me and gracing me with love, kindness, and help. So many moving parts continue to shift into place to make this vision come to life and it reminds me of last Thanksgiving weekend and just how blessed I truly am.

Shifting Patterns

Despite all the blessings, I have had to work hard this week to remember to ask for help. I struggle in sharing my truth, I never want to be a burden to anyone, and this is a pattern that I am working on shifting. Being empathic, I feel so much in other people, that I strive to never unload my truth on them. That is a lonely way to live and I am choosing to live differently. I have been watching myself with compassion and awareness. I have watched my mind overwhelm and my mental state wobble on a fine line, and so I asked for help. This weekend I bought pies, I didn’t offer to do a ton of cooking, and I hired people to move heavy items for me. I feel so much stronger and empowered for having asked for the help that I truly needed and honoring myself in the fine line of “business” that I’m walking.

As I worked through this week and into the weekend, I was very clearly able to see my blessings and my wounds. There were many moments where I felt exposed, raw, cracked open, and all I wanted was to hide under a rock! I have found my shoulders up by my ears and over my head both awake and asleep in pure strain and stress as my body tries to process the growth I am experiencing. As this full moon hits me in Aries, I feel courageous like I can explore parts of me that I have never allowed out before, I am ready for a battle or a rebirth within, arising from the past and all that no longer serves. I feel Libra begging me to seek just within, to love myself with compassion and to reclaim who I am in all ways. 

Healthy Choices & Listening To My Body

As I feel my body shifting, I am trying to make healthy eating choices, I have been drinking bone broth for some gut healing and nutrition, and I am limiting sugar and caffeine. I am trying to rest (despite writing this at 10:30 pm) and honor how much more sleep and stillness I must bring into my body as the daylight wanes and the body desires to go inward. I am listening to my body as best as I can, despite the current pace of my life right now but above all I am loving myself through every step, giving thanks for the magic that surrounds me, celebrating a community who continues to support me, and trusting that I am doing the very best that I can, and that is enough.