Diaries – 1st Week Of October

Dear Diary,

Something is off. I can feel it. I heard myself speak and it was harsh and short. The words hurt my tongue and my heart. I am lacking energy and my own vibration. I am only brushing my teeth once a day… this my guidepost sending me a warning sign. I have been pushing myself hard to get ahead of retrograde and get my new space up and running and as such, I did anticipate some overwhelm. The overwhelm of chaos is clear. My laundry is mountainous and my car is a moving garbage can. My teeth and face regime getting done only once a day. I accept this. I knew it was going to be a very productive two weeks, but I sense something more.

Embracing What I Was Feeling

I sat with this feeling of being “off” and I began to sense this was energetic. I feel as if I am being pulled into an energetic vortex of darkness as if the gremlins of Halloween nightmares have reared their ugly heads. They are desperately trying to drag me into their negative abyss. I sensed it in my teeth first, a strange sensation that something was off. then I felt it in the back of my head. As I pondered what I was feeling, the spiders began to show themselves. Spiders are not my favorite, but they are an omen of protection, of the divine feminine, and of abundance. I noticed them everywhere until they were in my house and in my dreams. I continued asking spirit for help. I called on my ancestors and they sent me a powerful woman, Mary Magdalene. They also sent a powerful snake. The snake and spider became human-like and my dreams took me to many places with messages of growth and support on my journey. As I processed my dreams, it became clear that a major shift was needed.

Working On Raising My Vibration

As the collective swirls in fear and horror (partly the theme of the month of the goblin), I realized through my dreams that it is critical to raise my vibration. To shift myself from the energetic vortex I must ground, I must surrender, and I must root to rise. I am working heavily with the root chakra this week, dandelion root tea, red jasper and ruby, beets, and purple cabbage. I subconsciously pulled my red plaid shirts out and layered them for days needing the red to envelop me. I am using frankincense, cedar, and bergamot in my diffuser to ground me and comfort me as I work to raise my vibration. I am being mindful of how I care for the earth, my waste and water consumption, and what I am eating. Ensuring that in all ways I am raising my state of being to awareness, and kindness. I am grateful for deep messages of growth. They are uncomfortable but they always take me to unexpected new heights. I am certain a major expansion and spiritual transformation are once again at work within me. I surrender and I am open to receive.