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Dear Diary: I Am at a Crossroads

I have my home set up to honour some basic Feng Shui. I feel a strong connection to have areas of my home reflect the elements to me so I always feel I am part of something bigger than just me. It keeps me feeling grounded and in flow simultaneously.

I was called to my fire corner in my home last night for a Full Moon ritual. I usually am called to water for a full moon, and this moon is Pisces, so the sudden urge to fire surprised me.

I leaned into my urge and trusted my intuition to head over.

A message came through quickly to hold a self ceremony. While I was up North I had a few plants speak to me:

  • Sweet Gale
  • Black Spruce
  • Plantain
  • Fireweed

I was asked by the plants to work with them as I move into a deep transition phase.

The plants said I was going to need them to cross what looked like a bridge. Most of these plants were growing near one another. I was in a beaver pond, or rather a spruce bog. As I stood with my medicine bundle in my fire corner, I suddenly understood. I was holding water, plants that are so resilient they grow in acidic water, a place few things can grow.

In my fire corner, I began to grab some other sacred medicines and add them to my bundle. I lit a small fire for the fire beings and I began to allow the smoke to cleanse me and my new bundle. I offered thanks for the plants’ messages and then bathed in the cleansing smoke.

I am at a crossroads and these plants have come to help me take the high road.

I sat down after my ritual to contemplate the past week. The Northern waters where the beavers played around us in our kayaks ignited a longing.

I miss the North.

I love the woodpecker and the songs of the frogs. I long for the hum of the hummingbird and the chattering squirrels. I miss the rocks.

In this longing, I allowed my heart song to pour forth and it told me the story of the new path to walk. It showed me how integral my faith is, how I must continue to walk ahead with the light showing others what is possible. In the tune of my heart I heard strength, courage, connection, love and joy. I can see my two paths. I am so grateful that Beaver and the plants have come forward to share their medicines with me.

As I hone in on what path I am choosing, I am leaning into surrender. As I stop trying to control the path, revelations of what is possible are slowly appearing in my consciousness.

I lean into the word revelation.

The world is revealing its magic. My faith is unfolding possibilities and my heart is singing a new tune.

Change is in the air, I can feel it in the fall crispness and I can hear in the songs of my soul.

I am clearing the past and healing past wounding. This is a process I anticipate will continue intensely for a few more months, but could last a lifetime.

I am no longer trying to control it, I am simply leaning into it. I don’t anticipate the next few months of anchoring in my vision to be easy, I am hanging on to my mantra, “I can do hard things”, and I am adding I might even enjoy it!


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